Fitting In...: "It's Not You, It's Me"

Monday, May 1, 2017

"It's Not You, It's Me"

Ever hear the phrase, "It's not you, its me"? Maybe you've even said it before...gaaasp! Recently, I found myself questioning this phrase and exactly what it means. Once again, I'm the "new girl" and I have a confession...being the "new" girl is something I have really struggled with. The older I get, the more I long for roots. Unfortunately, I am still in the stage of my life where I am the "new girl" just about every 2 years or so and it really stinks sometimes! All of my military spouse girlfriends, can I get an "AMEN"!!! Learning to fit in, wherever and however I can, as soon as I can, has become an important skill that I am still working on. There are times where I have felt right at home and met some beautiful people. Some of those beautiful people have turned into lifelong friends, friends that I cherish with my whole heart. For that I am grateful, however, I have met some folks who have really thrown me for a loop and challenged me as a person.

I have always tried to model myself after my Mom. She is the most genuine, caring and selfless person I know. She will do everything in her power to make you feel comfortable, even at her own expense, sometimes. I adore her heart for others and if I could be half of the amazing woman she is, I will be doing well. Because I want to be like my Mom {when I grow up}, I do work hard at making sure the people around me feel comfortable, included and wanted. When it comes to people in my home, it is always my goal that each guest always feels welcome, no matter what. I want people to feel at ease, kick off your shoes and prop them up on the coffee table, it's what I want! It's who we are as a family...comfortable. Personally, I also try to portray comfort, ease and friendliness in my everyday attitude as well. Sometimes its not easy and can often be uncomfortable, especially when the feelings are not shared. Sometimes to my detriment, I open myself up too quickly and I get hurt. When that happens I start to question myself. Am I too open? Am I scaring people away? What is it about me that I need to adjust? You see, I am a "what you see is REALLY what you get" kinda gal. I am genuine in my kindness and try to be delicate in my honesty. Unfortunately, I don't do superficial well, at all. I like to get to know people and take interest in learning how others work and what makes them happy. I have found myself, recently, in a couple situations that have made me a bit uncomfortable and have caused me to do some introspective thinking. I recently read this quote and I'm thinking I will adopt it for a bit...

"No matter how well you think you carry yourself, if you do not value yourself, it will show. And you will be treated by what people perceive you as. Know who you are and be confident in it. Know your worth and act on it."

It's not ME, its YOU...I am valuable and I intend to show you!!

I'm pinning for me, no reference to you at all... I knew you'd think that but need to put it out there that it's just for me.. No one else:

Cheers,

Krista

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My Story

As kids, my parents always taught us to eat right and take care of ourselves. Growing up, I never struggled with food or my weight. I was always petite and fairly active. I grew up right smack in the middle of TWO brothers so we were always moving. Playing "bases" as we called it, riding bikes, swimming, the list goes on! Through my teenage years I played volleyball and was pretty active with youth activities. I have to admit that I NEVER thought about my size. In fact, I don't even know what my smallest size was when I was a teen. I was just "small" and never thought I would be "fat".

When I was 19, my life changed forever...I married my best friend and entered into some of the most fun, rewarding and challenging years of my life. In addition to marrying my best friend, I married the Navy...yep, a military wife life for me. 5 short years later, we were blessed with our sweet daughter. It was during my pregnancy that I really let myself go. My mentality was that I was "eating for two" and I could eat whatever I wanted because "I would never get fat". The day I had my daughter I weighed in at a whopping 180 lbs!! I am 5'2" so being that heavy was not a good look or feel for that matter. After I had her, I just assumed the "baby weight" would fall off. Isn't that how it works? My husband was deployed and I had a sweet little person to take care of and I was still learning how to be a mom. I didn't think I was really "that heavy" anyway, I just had a baby!

Since then, my weight has bounced around here and there. Still, I was pretty much uncomfortable in my own skin and knew I needed to do something just not sure how to go about it. Thankfully, I had a wonderful friend who was athletic and always encouraged me to get up and move. So, we joined the gym and became "gym rats"! I'm not sure exactly what kind of weight I lost, but I feel like we were always in the gym. Sadly, when the Navy decided it was time for us to move, I lost my workout partner. Looking back, that took more of a toll on me mentally than I really thought. It was nice to have her there to encourage me to go even when I would rather go have breakfast somewhere! When that was gone, I had ZERO motivation.

Fast forward several duty stations later to 2008. It was here I decided I'd had enough of being uncomfortable. A friend was also looking to loose some weight and had decided on the Body For Life program. It's a 12 week program and it didn't look complicated. I liked it and thought this was something I could do. So I grabbed the book and the cookbook that went with it and got to work. After all, what's 12 weeks, right?! I started cleaning out the cupboards and ridding our pantry and fridge of all the bad things that I liked to eat. {I think my family thought I might be a little crazy, but they were so supportive.} The BFL incorporated fitness and an eating plan that I could follow, this plan even included a "cheat day" and I REALLY liked that! So Jan 1st 2009, I was ready, I was excited!! I had made up my mind that I was really going to do this, I was really going to make this work. I needed to be healthy, I wanted to be healthy. January 1st, I took my first step...I was going to start this "exercise" thing...again! This time, I started with running...boy was that a rude awakening! I didn't really know what I was doing, but I was going to try it anyway, how hard could it be? Put one foot in front of the other, right? I realize now how really unprepared I was. To start with, my shoes were horribly wrong. All I had were some old Nike's (they were probably 3 years old) but I laced them up, put my earphones in and off I went. At this point reality set in when I could barely make it 5 minutes without stopping. I thought I was going to die!! I kept at it tho and slowly {this being a key word here} I worked my way up to 10 minutes without stopping {or dying}. Unfortunately, shortly after starting to run, I started getting this horrible pain in BOTH of my legs...SHIN SPLINTS!!! Oh my goodness, the pain was really bad, I did have to give my poor legs a rest, but I wasn't going to let myself give up. After giving myself a week to recover, I went out and bought some new shoes {Mazuno's} and got back to it. I will never forget the day I ran the whole mile without stopping, I was so happy...I cried! I have never really been the "athletic type" and certainly not a runner so this was really a new and somewhat terrifying thing for me, but I felt like this was going to be huge in my weight loss progression. I somehow managed to stick with the running, the weight training and the eating program. It worked for me, it was hard and I often found myself crying over food I couldn't have, but it worked. I lost 30 lbs and it felt good!!

Unfortunately, as with any diet, when you stop really focusing and allow certain things back in the weight comes back slowly and before you know it, you've put it all back on. Things happen, life gets in the way and I just wasn't in a place to commit to a whole lifestyle change beyond the 12 weeks (I know, it sounds cliché, but thats the truth).

Fast forward again several years and I am met with a new weight loss "miracle" that promised to be a quick fix. I was reading that folks were using this product and loosing weight without exercise and changing their eating. I kinda liked that because lets be honest, I love my bread and pasta and cake and I didn't want to have to give anything up. I wasn't in the place where I wanted to put in the work to loose weight, I just wanted it to fall off. So, I signed up and when my package arrived I started taking the "magic". It worked and helped me loose 20lbs...again!! I lost the 20lbs and was ready to loose more, unfortunately the product stopped working, they changed the formula and just like that the weight loss stopped happening. In all honesty, I can't completely blame the product, because I wasn't changing my eating habits and I wasn't putting much effort into working out. I take responsibility for that, 100%. Sadly, I managed to find that 20lbs that I lost and added a few more! I couldn't believe I let myself do this...again. Sad, disappointed and kinda depressed, I just stopped caring. With yet another move here I was again, heavy...FAT!! I let myself have things and didn't do any of it in moderation. I have learned that I am an "all or nothing" kind of gal. I would fool myself into thinking that I can allow myself to have just a little, but that little eventually tuns into a lot.

I was so frustrated with the weight I have gained back and had no desire to do anything. I was working and always on my feet but felt horrible. I was tired all the time and never really felt good. In fact, it really hit me hard when my husband said, I'm worried about you, you often don't feel good." It never really bothered me until he pointed it out that way, on multiple occasions.

So, what was I going to do about it? A dear friend of mine had found her passion and health in this cool little {ok, not really little} company called AdvoCare. I had heard of it before because this same friend would give me this "stuff" to put in my water, it tasted yummy and gave me awesome energy. That "stuff" is called Spark and it has changed my life. My dear friend loved me enough to keep encouraging me to keep going with my progress regardless of what I was using, didn't have to be her product. She saw that I needed AdvoCare, but let me figure that out on my own. I could see her passion and her pure love for what it was doing in her life, but still I wasn't going to get "sucked" in to another program or magic pill. I didn't want to get on that bandwagon. I said "no" several more times until finally she was in my home with all her "stuff". I watched her take all kinds of goodies and then she mixed some up for me. After about a week of taking her "stuff", I was hooked. I started small, a spark and the cleanse. After the cleanse I started using the Slim (a drink mix FULL of vitamins and minerals). I had never felt better and that began my love affair with AdvoCare.

I've been using the product for a little over a year now and I have lost the weight I found and am feeling better than ever. I turned 40 last year and really wanted to be in a good place with my health. I don't want time with my family to pass me by because I didn't feel like doing anything. I am so glad that I made the choice to invest in myself. I've been working out regularly and I'm pushing myself in ways that I never have. Just the other day, I was able to run 4.2 miles without stopping and guess what...I'm still alive to tell about it! I am starting this blog to share my journey in not only AdvoCare and health, but in the things I learn about exercise along the way. My true desire is to inspire and encourage anyone who might find themselves in the same position I was years ago. I still have a ways to go but I am taking it a day at a time and paying myself first. Its not always easy and sometimes its a battle with myself, but I WILL do this, I CAN do this and you can too!! Join me in this journey and be the best YOU possible! Happy Reading!!

Fitting In...

Monday, May 1, 2017

"It's Not You, It's Me"

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My Story

My AdvoCare

About Me

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Fitting In...

Monday, May 1, 2017

"It's Not You, It's Me"

No comments:

Post a Comment

My Story

My AdvoCare

About Me

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Search This Blog

Blog Archive